Heaven Knows
by psych0ticangel
Summary: Can a love lost come back? Will an empty heart be filled again? Can the depths of one's soul bear the pain of loneliness...?


**~~Heaven Knows~~**

"She's always on my mind…" He started to sing a tune not common, but a tune from his heart. The origin of which, he did not know, but the reason… well, it was very clear.

***flashback***

"I Love You." She said sadly as she hugged him tight. Tears were falling down her cheeks like those of a waterfall. No other presence could be felt but his and hers. He pressed her against him harder, hoping that she would change her mind. Hoping that those three words meant she _had_ changed her mind.

"I'm just sorry Matt, but I need to leave." And so his vision started to get blurred, his throat held a lump in it, and his heart… it broke into pieces. He slowly let go of her, and held her shoulders. Her flight had been called over the speakerphone by that annoying looking flight attendant in front of them. She was leaving.

"Mimi…" his voice sounds persistent. "Mimi, I choose us. You and me. Here in Japan. With love. Forever." He told her. She looked at him, and tears formed in her eyes. He had hoped that flicker he saw in them was a flicker of understanding, and that she would stay and be with him. She breathed in, caressed his cheeks and turned away. He wanted to run to her and hold her back, but he knew, deep in his heart, he could never change her mind.

***end***

He took his guitar as he sat in front of his window. The leaves of the cherry blossoms were falling from their branches, winter would come again, and he'd spend another Christmas without her.

"She's always on my mind…" he started to strum a tune…

"From the time I wake up, 'til I close my eyes. She is everywhere I go, she's all I know…."

He stopped and gazed out the window.

"Though she's so far away…"

"It just keeps getting stronger everyday…"

"And even now she's gone, I'm still holdin' on…"

"So tell me where do I start? Coz it's breaking my heart."

He can still remember that day... at the airport…

"I don't wanna let her go…"

"Matt!" his mother called him through the door. "Tai's here." He put down his guitar, sighed and walked slumped to the living room.

"Oi Matt!" Tai greeted him with his big smile, and his hair popping out to every direction. Not a second passed, and Tai's face disappeared as he looked concernedly at Matt. "Yo, dude, wassup?" he asked. Mrs. Ishida sighed and gave Tai a brownie she had just baked. "Courtesy of the Ishida residence." She said with a smile. "Now go and cheer my son up." She added sternly. Tai smiled and nodded.

"C'mon dude." He told Matt and grabbed his arm.

The autumn breeze struck the skin like a piercing knife, announcing the coming of the North wind. Tai hugged himself tight, but Matt only walked calmly, not saying a word, he looked blankly at the ground, as though it were new to him.

Tai sighed and took him near a cherry blossom tree. "You know Matt," he started. "You'll need to move on now… its been five years…" his voice trailed off as Matt finally looked up at the cherry blossom tree. He held out his hand with his palm open, catching a leaf and grasped it tight. "That's what makes it worse Tai… its been five years... and still... I can't let go…" he clutched his hand tighter, and unwanted tears fell down his face.

_Maybe my love will come back some day…_

_Only heaven knows…_

_And maybe our hearts will find a way…_

_Only heaven knows…_

Tai sighed beside him. "Okay, that's it. I'm taking you out this weekend. You'll get you're old mood back my boy! Leave it all to Captain Taichi!" He said with a chuckle. He sweat dropped, as he saw no change in Matt's reaction. Matt's hair covered his face; he was looking down, his breath steady. To Tai, Matt looked depressed, _really_ depressed. He needed help.

The weekend came, Tai and his girlfriend Sora were present, T.K., Matt's brother and Kari, Tai's sister were around too. They took Matt to different hangouts and places, and yet, even as they spent all of their week's allowance on trying to cheer him up, nothing worked. Finally, they all gave up and went to the park where they usually stayed when they were still kids.

Sora started the conversation. "You know, I remember Mimi… she was very... interesting…" she said with a little smile. "I'd talk to her all night long about nothing." She added with a giggle. "She'd have this high pitched voice that really made my ears hurt at times. And she had this smile that always made me smile back. She was the greatest friend. I just wish she never left." She finished with a sad note at the end of her voice. T.K. sighed and looked at the darkening sky. It was of the color Indigo now, as the day ended and night was coming. "Mimi was awfully cute." He remembered, not leaving his eyes from the sky. Kari nudged his shoulder. "What?" he said startled. "I was just being honest Kari." He told her. Kari nodded. "She was cute, and a good sister. I remember when she threw that surprise birthday party for Matt. That was really nice of her."

Matt stared at all of them. He sighed, and took out his harmonica from his pocket, and started to play a tune. Everyone looked at him amazed. The song had a sad tone, but its tune was perfect and it pierced one's soul.

"Wow." Sora said dazed as Matt stopped playing. "You should make lyrics to that Matt." Tai suggested. Matt nodded. "I already do have lyrics." He told them. "But the song's better with a guitar."

"Ooh. Let's go to your place then! And we'll listen." T.K. suggested. Matt shrugged. "Sure."

As Matt walked down the alley on the way to his house, Sora walked beside him. "Is there anyway to get you out of this misery?" She asked him, looking straight ahead. Matt shrugged, as he looked at the pavement. "I don't think anything can." Sora turned to look at him. "You know Matt, if she left you like this, then, maybe… you don't deserve her. She is my friend and all, she always will be but…" her voice trailed off and sighed. It must be no use to convince Matt, he was just so stubborn. She hugged Matt slowly before she jogged off next to Tai.

"Okay, here it goes." Matt said to his "audience". All four were on the floor, looking at him expectantly as he strummed his fingers on the guitar and sang his sad tune…

_My friends keep telling me_

_That if you really love her, you gotta set her free_

_And if she returns in time, I'll know she's mine_

_So tell me where do I start?_

_Coz its breaking my heart_

_I don't wanna let her go_

_Maybe my love will come back someday_

_Only heaven knows…_

_And maybe our hearts will find a way_

_Only heaven knows…_

_And all I can do is hope and pray…_

_Coz heaven knows…_

_While I live in despair_

_Coz while awake or dreaming_

_I know she's never there_

_And while I act so brave I'm shaking inside_

_Why does it hurt me so?_

_Maybe my love will come back someday_

_Only heaven knows…_

_And maybe our hearts will find a way_

_Only heaven knows…_

_And all I can do is hope and pray…_

_Coz heaven knows…_

All had owl's eyes as Matt ended his song. T.K. was actually drooling. "Wow." Sora said in a hushed whisper. "You really do love her." Matt nodded slowly and closed his eyes.

"That song was… amazing…" Sora said as she walked back to her house with Tai's arms around her. "I know…" Tai remarked. Sora sighed. "We need to help him out." She suggested. Tai didn't say anything he just stared ahead blankly. "Tai?" Sora asked concernedly and looked up at him. She looked at the place where Tai was staring. "Digi grove" Sora said as she smiled looking at the place.

It was a spot near a fountain, where they usually hang out. "You remember Sor? That one winter time, when Mimi and Matt were skating?" Tai asked. Sora's smile widened at the memory. "Yeah," she said. "They looked so happy together. You remember how you always slipped and Matt had to carry you?" Sora added with a giggle. Tai smiled. "I so do. My butt was frozen like ice because of all my falls. Can't help it if I have jelly legs now can I?" Tai asked. Sora giggled and hugged Tai. "Those were the days, huh?" she said slowly. Tai nodded and sighed. "Okay, I'm taking you home. It's freezing out here."

Matt was perched on his roof, his arms beneath his head, and his eyes, gazing at the stars. He was counting each star, he was at the 100th star when a shooting star came across the sky. It fell like a tiny dot of fire, its flaming tail leaving a temporary mark across the dark blue sky. He closed his eyes as the cool night wind swept across his face and surrounded him. He made a silent wish, as unnatural as it may seem, and a smile danced on his lips. Wishing on shooting stars was something him and Mimi used to do. They would snuggle together under a blanket with a mug of hot coffee beside them and wait for shooting stars to come. _Those were the days…_

Those were the days when life was full of meaning, when the sun shone bright everyday, when the day was always fine, and through the rain, not one was left alone freezing. Those were the days when love was what kept Matt alive, when nothing but Mimi's tender love flowed through his veins. In those days, Matt was complete he was living in heaven. Everyday Mimi would smile at him and make him feel complete and secured. She was his Sun, bringing daylight in the night, making the sky ever blue and crystal clear, without a single rain cloud in sight. He could still remember the way she would bite her lower lip when she was nervous, and how she always tried to cheer him up when he was down.

Matt closed his eyes and let the cool night air brush his hair back, and at that second he felt like he was flying. "Mmm… fair weather we're having." Said an utterly familiar voice not very far. Matt opened his eyes and saw a girl's silhouette beside him. And as he was about to ask her who she was, she turned to look at him…

_Maybe my love will come back someday…_

_Only heaven knows…_

_And maybe our hearts will find their way…_

_Only heaven knows…_

Matt smiled; he didn't know what else to do. Words didn't seem to sum up how he felt, not even Webster could find a word to describe it. The girl smiled back, and in the coolness of the night, they were together, wrapped around each others embrace, brown sinking into blue, as if forever was only found in the depth of the ocean, where true love is measured…

**END**

_True love gained should be kept forever…_

_True love lost… is not true love at all…_

A/N: **SARANG HE WILL!!!!! **^.^

Disclaimers: I don't own Digimon and I don't own the song either. I do own the story though ^.^ a friend asked me to write this fic. She said the song suited Mimi and Matt perfectly. And yeah, I think so too… ^.^ And um, sorry if this would look quite weird. I tried to put all the paragraphs in the center, but somehow, when I submit this fic, ff.net makes it look… messy -.- anyway, hope you guys liked it! And yeah, I'm a Filipina ^.^


End file.
